Today was chaotic from the
moment I woke up late, oversleeping because my iPod was loosened from its
mooring in my clock radio by wandering cats.
I didn’t even realize it was September 12th, my birthday,
until I saw well wishes on Facebook
between classes later that morning.
There was no time for reflection until I had a chance to finally sit and
just be at the end of a long, demanding day.
In a rare quiet respite, I
unfriended someone on Facebook, a
political representative in my area who represents the antithesis of nearly
every value I hold. He had friend requested
me; I hadn’t wanted to accept because I’d heard how mean-spirited he was and I
wasn’t sure I wanted his “stuff” on my Facebook
homepage. I lasted with him I guess six
months or so, challenging some of his postings because I found them to be
immoral, uncharitable, factually suspect or incomplete, or downright dangerous. The feeling was clearly mutual.
I’ve grown curmudgeonly in
my old age, and I’m not the most patient of crones, so I can be quite direct…perhaps
I must confess to my own brand of uncharitable tone or attitude, particularly
when addressing those with whom I passionately disagree. I allow these individuals to get under my
skin and disrupt my own quest for personal peace. There are times when I am probably not the
best person to be writing a “peace” blog, tho’ I hold tightly to the peace
trace deep within (perhaps often a bit too deep to be of any good to anyone
including myself!!).
I’d become troubled
yesterday when there seemed to be a Facebook
feeding frenzy of patriotic fervor in response to news of a “Million Muslim
March” in Washington DC, on the anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks. The walk for “civil rights, indefinite
detention and countering inaccurate depictions of Islam and Muslims”
(Huffington Post) ended up being much more of a whisper than a shout—the
participants numbered closer to the tens or hundreds than the millions. But people on Facebook seemed outraged by their March, as if the 19 guilty extremists
who flew planes filled w/ people into buildings were themselves inciting the
walk.
And the glee surrounding a
report that a counter-“march” of millions of “patriotic bikers was heading to
Washington in response was troubling to me…as if Muslim-Americans weren’t
allowed to speak out simply because they’re Muslim. Perhaps in fact 9/11 is the most appropriate
day on the entire calendar for their march because of what the day
represents. The intolerance on such a
day of national lamentation was disturbing, as my Facebook page was inundated with the story of these seemingly
heroic bikers going to put the audacious Muslims in their rightful place on
9/11.
I posted my concerns in
response to the various postings I saw.
And one of my Facebook friends
got downright nasty. His words waved
like a red cape before a bull to me. I
tried so hard to be civil, to be respectful, to explain my concerns and articulate
my own protest well. I must have failed, because this “friend” was relentless
in his unkindness. The final blow came
early this morning, on my birthday, with a snide, sneering comment, that I
really wanted to respond to with both barrels blazing.
But I stopped myself.
In what was a brief moment
of birthday reflection, I thought about what spirit I wanted to foster not only
within myself—hot-tempered crone that I am—and what spirit I wanted to present
to the others in my life, whether those others are face-to-face familiars or
digital acquaintances. Standing up for
what I believe to be truth, to be moral, decent, compassionate, life-affirming
doesn’t require mean-spiritedness in the name of self-righteous indignation…yet
too often reactionary meanness is my drug of choice.
So…“does anyone ‘win’ in
this particular friendship?” I asked myself…“am I really getting anything out
of this mutually disrespectful digital interaction?” I firmly believe the biblical
proverb that “iron sharpens iron”; we learn and grow best when we are willing
to listen to others, especially to those who think, live, and believe
differently from ourselves. So I had
been reluctant to hit the “unfriend” button.
Yet this relationship seemed to be growing more snarky as time went on…without
much learning or growth occurring. I quickly concluded that it might be in
everyone’s best interest for me to quietly unfriend, so I did.
If we’re going to live
peaceably in the world, we MUST learn to co-exist respectfully with those who
do not share our own views or values, both at the individual and greater
corporate levels. Then must we tolerate
oppression, violence, drone or chemical weapon strikes that kill innocent
children, environmental destruction, abuse, exploitation from those whose moral
values and socio-political ethics support such life-destroying policies and
practices? Of course not.
But we don’t have to
respond with violence, disrespect, or hate in our own words, voices and hearts.
And on this birthday, I realize that far too often that’s exactly what’s hiding
within, just below the surface, ready to overflow at a moment’s provocation.
So on this birthday, my
take-away reflection is that peace in the world really does begin with me: my
thoughts, my words, my silences, my action, my inaction…with my voice, in
print, digitally, in my actions in and on the world, when people’re watching,
and when they’re not. How can I be a
channel of peace or even an advocate of peace with turmoil and unkindness in my
heart, on my mind, on my tongue?
I’d love to hear what’s in
your own hearts and minds these days, what lessons you’re learning from your
own birthday and every day reflections.
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